To say the past week has been brutal would be an understatement. I certainly don’t want to write an entire blog post complaining… but I loved connecting with you guys when I got so vulnerable in this post over real life, truthful, honest stuff. The kind of stuff we don’t talk about that much because we feel the need to say “things are great – it’s all good!” whenever someone asks, regardless of what’s really going on.
I’ve been running on an empty tank. I’ve never had a moving experience that was this challenging and exhausting.
After doing extensive research (and paying more than I ever have for a move), our movers were terrible for many different reasons. To name just a few, they started off six hours late. Then brought in all the boxes first even though we asked them to bring the furniture so when they left 5.5 hours later, we couldn’t even walk in our new place, making it next to impossible to unpack anything. Many things were chipped, dented, marked up, they left us with their trash, etc. PSA: If you’re in the Orange County area and looking for movers, email me and I’ll point you in the right direction. For about three days I’ve been brewing my Yelp review that is to come for this company… my only form of justice. Justice shall be served!!!
Our second night in our new place I sobbed for two hours, like a child. It felt like I couldn’t breath, I was claustrophobic, stressed and overwhelmed. Two weeks ago everything was cozy and great, and now it felt like everything was upside down.
The pets have had a little bit of trouble adjusting (this happened when we moved from Mississippi also), and we don’t have a washer & dryer yet so there’s laundry and pet accidents just hanging out in our apartment. My car barely fits in the garage spot we’re paying extra to have access to – thank God I have an old car because I will for sure be scratching it up, #Godbless #notfromhere.
I could list 20 more inconveniences and challenges that have risen in the past week. Things I didn’t even realize would be obstacles have become obstacles. Nothing is easy and everything costs $$$, even when it comes to throwing away your trash. As in like, hundreds of dollars… for getting rid of your moving trash.
BUT in order to try to keep my chin up during times like this, I remember this:
“Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty… I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life.” – Theodore Roosevelt
Nothing worth having comes easy, and the best experiences and moments usually happen outside of your comfort zone. In my life I’ve found this to be so true.
Christian and I went to dinner on our last night together in Orange County. Just a little neighborhood spot and a typical weekend go-to for us. We were reflecting on the past five years and how slow and fast they’ve gone by.
I’m definitely not who I was when we first moved to California in 2013. Five years is the longest either of us has lived in one town since high school. We’ve had many good times along with many sad times. We created our first home together. I found a job I loved in a global retail industry and then moved onto taking CBL full-time, which was something I hadn’t even known was possible when I started blogging 100 years ago. Christian became a specialized head and neck surgeon and decided to do another year of training (we definitely did not plan on that when we moved here).
We also experienced loss and sadness, but these times offered opportunity for growth and life lessons.
I was so intimidated to move somewhere as big as Orange County. A few years later, I felt comfortable and confident in my new job, local industry, relationships, church, etc. It wasn’t easy uprooting our lives and moving across the country, but it led to some of the most exciting and FUN opportunities of my life thus far.
Just when I started really feeling like OC was home… we had to pack it up and start all over. It hasn’t been easy, and I didn’t expect it to be. But in order to achieve big things, you have to have the courage to step outside your comfort zone. You could stay in a bubble and feel safe, nothing bad can happen. Or you can choose to live a life filled with adventures and challenges, learning more about yourself and what you can handle and achieve in your life.
Even though I have been pretty blue the past week… I know that things will turn around and I’ll look back on this experience with nostalgia and pride because it will symbolize the courage we had to have to try. I’m not sure what I’ll learn from this experience just yet, but I know it’s there.
And that’s worth something.
I’d love to hear how you guys feel about stepping outside of your comfort zone or any quotes you love on this topic. So many of you have sent the most thoughtful and helpful emails and direct messages about transitioning to NorCal or moving/packing for your spouse. Shoutout the military wives who are the real heroes and have REALLY helped me keep things in perspective!
Thanks so much for reading and sharing – you guys truly are the best. Love you, mean it – XO –
PS – I wrote this post at my desk in front of a bay window, looking out at the city. I couldn’t help but wonder… is this a Carrie Bradshaw moment?
Thinking of you. Just take one day at a time ♡♡♡ and remember to take a breath every now and then! Good luck xx
Hang in there girl. I am a big fan of yours, and I am just across the bay in Marin County (plus I just moved with my family, husband and two teenagers, to a new house 2 weeks ago, so I feel your pain, even though we only moved a few towns over). If you ever need any support or suggestions, I’m happy to help. SF can feel really overwhelming at times, but there are so many wonderful things to do, and so many beautiful places to visit within an hour, you will start to love it before you know it. Get a Class Pass and start checking out new places to workout, make a list of all of the things you want to explore, to remind yourself of the new adventures to be had. Be forewarned, summer weather is also not the best directly in the city, but then September and October roll around and you will start to see the magic. And you can always drive right over the bridge where the fog lifts immediately for that staycation weather you are used to from SoCal.❤️
Love all of this and particularly the last sentence—totally a CB
Moment ❣️
Virtual hug coming through! Your experience is definitely worth venting about and feeling like you just wanna cry. You have a good attitude and will make it through this tough transition! And don’t let the weather get you down either – I’m sure you’ve heard that quote about “the coldest winter I ever spent was the summer in San Francisco.” It’s very true but a good excuse to explore anything in short driving distance to thaw out a bit! 😉 XO
I bought a house in Arkansas, loved decorating it, and then 18 months later decided to move to Scotland for a masters degree. I sold everything I owned. And as someone came to buy and pick up my leather couch, they casually informed me they had cats who were probably going to go to town on that thing, but it’s okay they got a deal! …I proceeded to cry alone in my empty living room over a leather couch 2 weeks before moving to another continent. I get you girl – sometimes it’s just a combination of little things that can set you over the edge! My mantra became “Worrying never did change the outcome” throughout the entire process. But it’s been a year now, and the couch (and all the money lost from investing in a house & then selling all of it) is a distant memory 🙂
Bless your heart! You have such a sweet soul & captivating spirit. You’re quick wit & charm is intoxicating. Keep your gorgeous head up and know that it’s ok to feel this way sometimes especially when you have the foresight to see God’s immensely beautiful bright light at the end of the tunnel. Jesus has blessed you with a beautiful talent for connecting with people & He must be so proud of how you’ve chosen to use it
Xoxo
Brandi
1) You are for sure having a Carrie moment.
2) Justice will be SERVED! I can’t and I shan’t with terrible service and rude people.
3) Thank you for sharing this as I too moved to a city with my fiancé and it’s easy to recognize the diffficulty and things you hate but it’s harder to see the beauty! And I know we will look back at this time with joy and happiness that we took a chance! Thank you for being so open and relatable! You are truly one of my favorites.
Such a beautiful and inspirational post … love ♥️it!
♥️ROSES FOR FRIDAYS ♥️ | by mia | A Creative Lifestyle Blog
I feel ya Girly. When I’m having a desperate day, I use a little reminder that things are not THAT bad. I say to myself, “I am not a Syrian refugee.” This reminds me that most of my problems are first world, and if they can strive to go on, so can I. Hang in there.
I’m crying for you as I read your blog. Hang in there. It will get better. Hugs and prayers, Peggy
Moving is SO hard and I’m thinking of you girl. It’s ok to be overwhelmed and admit it because that means you’re facing it head on and accepting that this is difficult. No shame in that and the only way to move forward.
I’ve said it before on here, but I’m recently divorced after being with my ex for 12 years. Life is hard, change is hard. I knew in my heart that this was the best thing for both of us, but I keep hanging onto the quote “sometimes the right path is not the easiest one.”
Just have to take one day at a time in any situation that feels overwhelming- sending big time positive thoughts to you, C, Bailey and Lula. You’ve got this pretty girl!
Hang in there! Those leaps of faith often turn out to be the most rewarding. Take it one day at a time and know we are all here cheering you on. 🙂
xo H
Jeremiah 29:11 (ESV) “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
I can tell you your post came a week after my blue week of moving from the east coast to west coast. It has been so challenging and I am still currently sitting in an half empty apartment because moving companies can sit on your things until they “fill” a truck. I have found in these moments are when new coworkers have surprised me and stepped up. They’ve offered showers, camping supplies for my kitchen to make it feel a little like home, and my boss invited me over to dinner Friday. All these things have reminded me that little moments help me feel better, and for military wives I have so much respect. I am currently dating a guy in the military and while all I wanted was his help and shoulder to cry on during my rough week…I was quickly reminded that I was so excited to tell him the positives when we actually got to talk. It helped me keep focused on the positives and also on what my mom says which is give anything new 9 months…
My friend recently moved and hired a team to help her. Apparently the day before her scheduled move the company suddenly closed and NEVER CONTACTED HER. So she waited around all morning and finally called–only to hear that no one was coming. She had to hire someone much more expensive late in the game and was understandably very upset. Being pregnant didn’t help her emotions, either!
Defiantly a Carrie Bradshaw moment!! Hang in there…moving is a lot and then to have such a bad experience with movers is the worst. I had it happen this past Feb and we were just moving down the street not to a brand new city!! And things will become more settled and everything will get back in the grove!! Sending good vibes your way!!!
Love this post. Love your honesty. Just yes!! Totally feel this 200% as I’m packing up my house and leaving all my friends behind. Thanks for this.
I really appreciate you sharing the experience even if it only skimmed the surface of what’s been going on. Praying the days only get better for you from here. Keep focusing on those quotes — they are the truth! I would also love to read this Yelp review. I feel like it will be pure gold! Have a great rest of your week! xx
You are SO strong!!! What courage it must have taken to be this honest with yourself and your community. Although the move has been a difficult transition so far, I’m sure you’ll find your niche within SF soon enough!! I have always found change to be exceptionally hard, but I’ve never regretted trying something new once I was on the other side. You got this!!!
I completely understand how hard it is to adjust to San Francisco. I moved here from LA a million years ago and everything felt hard and exhausting. I spent the first month feeling very lonely and sad. It definitely gets better. You’ll get the hang of it. It’s an amazing city so try to take advantage of your time here. Good luck!
I feel you girl. I moved from California to Michigan to start medical school a few weeks ago. It has been an absolute dumpster fire. I’m trying to be positive… but it’s very challenging. Everything is so different.
We had a similar problem when my boyfriend moved from Atlanta to live with me full-time in Orlando. The movers got delayed by hurricane Matthew and decided to pick up someone else’s stuff, move them to Tennessee, and then return to Orlando with Mike’s stuff after the storm. By the time the truck arrived in Orlando, (10 days after it had departed Atlanta) every single item of Mike’s was broken. It took a lot of arguing on the phone with the renter’s insurance to get Mike some money to replace his valuables, and we never got any compensation from the movers, but that year in Orlando brought us closer than we had ever been before.
Whenever I feel overwhelmed, or like I have a to-do list that’s so big I don’t know where to start, my mom always says to me, “How do you eat an elephant?” The response to that question is, “One bite at a time.” This is a weekly mantra for me now in my adult life. Every to-do list has a starting point, no matter how small the task. If you continue to eat away at the elephant (not literally, of course lol) then the list gets tackled one bite at a time.
Remember to be patient with yourself and give yourself some time to adjust. The future is bright!
-Lindsey
Kathleen, while these posts may be some of the hardest for you to write— they provide your readers with a genuine insight in to your world. We are in this with you— and we are here for you! Periods of change and growth are difficult. My mom shared this quote on facebook a while back— I loved it, and thought you might too.
“Every blade of grass has its Angel that bends over and whispers, ‘Grow, grow.’”
YOU’VE GOT THIS! Miss you, sister! And I’m so proud of you!
OH MY GOSH! Thank you for sharing. I am in the process of moving out of state and I am feeling SO much of what your described. Thank you for reminding me that I am not alone, and please know that neither are you. Sending you all the best from the East Coast!
thank you for being real and sharing your honest story about making such a big move. moving is one of the top, if not THE top, stressors in life, so everything you’re feeling is more than normal. it’s so overwhelming and anxiety-inducing and unsettling, but week by week, you’ll realize you’re feeling better until, one day, you don’t even think about if you’re feeling better because, well, you’re feeling better!
This is why you are my first and always favorite blogger!!!!! It is a Carrie Bradshaw moment. It will get easier. You are an inspiration and courageous. I’m right across from you in little Alameda which you will adore! (And it’s always warmer in the East Bay). Breathe and know everything doesn’t have to get done in a day and it will get done. Thank you for being you. It helps me get through my own daily sometimes stressful sometimes scary life.
Great post! I can’t even imagine the ordeal you’ve been going through this past week. My heart goes out to you during this time of frustration. While i’ve never experienced that many moves, I know how it feels to get comfortable in one house only to leave and get readjusted in another. It’s rough. But this will also make you stronger and push you to limits you never knew you had before. Good luck!
Tabitha
https://shopsiloe.com/
This post hit home for me! A few years ago in my late 30s I decided to go back for my PhD. My husband and I sold our business, home and most of our belongings and drove from Nevada to Florida. We did not expect things to be the way they were when we arrived. We couldn’t find a place to live, it was miserably hot and rainy all the time, we had to leave our dog behind (he would join us eventually), I could go on and on. I cried for several months and almost lost my husband over it. 3 years later, we have a cute home and our dog somewhat has adjusted but will never be the same. My husband couldn’t find work here so he had to move across the country for the past two years. Needless to say this has been one of my biggest challenges and I keep telling myself it is making me a stronger person. I never quite adjusted to life here and look forward to moving on in a couple of years. Being the spouse behind the student is not an easy task either: you have to put up with our crazy hours, tuition, etc. We will all be fine! Just know you are not alone.
Bless you for this post. My boyfriend is a pilot and looking to make some career changes in the near future which could mean several moves to new places in the next several years. While it’s exciting and I’m here for it, it’s so daunting at the same time (esp since I’ve lived in the same area for most of my life!). This blog post is something I think I’ll be coming back to reread when I need some words of wisdom. I’m sorry to hear that your move has been so stressful and draining, but your outlook is inspiring and this post was exactly what I needed to read! I hope it helps to know that. I always appreciate you keeping it real with your readers and this post is my favorite so far. Can’t wait to watch you make SF your home – wishing you all the best! Xo
I am totally feeling for you right now! I moved less than 2 hours away for college. Yes, less than two hours. I was like, “oh, easy, I can go home any time. It will barely be any different.” I had the HARDEST TIME for like six months. I literally cried all the time. I missed going to my church and being with my friends from home and stopping by my grandmother’s house for lunch on random Wednesdays…just all kinds of things I never considered. I remember thinking, “why do people say this is so much fun? I hate this!” It was terrible for a while. But PTL for my sorority sisters who gave me a family in my college town (omg I know, so cheesy). By the time I left though, it really did feel like home. I was annoyed at myself for being sad about moving less than two hours away at first. Like, people move across the country all the time and here I am crying because my parents are 90 miles away. But I finally gave myself grace to just feel my feelings about it, and it ended up being such a fun chapter in my life. Praying for you as you get used to this new SF life! I know good things are in store for y’all!!
I’ve been in your shoes! My husband did an interventional pain fellowship for one year in SF. We moved our two kids (ages 4 and 1 at the time) all the way from knoxville, TN!! We sold everything, including our house one week before our official move date. It was by far one of the most stressful times of our marriage. We didn’t take a car so we rode the buses everywhere with our kids. It was a huge adjustment but we grew so close during our time away from extended family. There is more to do in SF and the surrounding areas than you can possibly fit in one year. Do it all!! I’ll be following along during your time there and reminiscing about ours. We’re going back to visit in October for a work conference and I cannot wait!
Shared this post with my boyfriend today, as we just moved to Chicago from a small Missouri a month ago. I am still not settled, and making a new place feel like home is hard, but we both know it is worth it! Loved this post!
It blows my mind that you moved to CA 5 years ago already. I followed your blog then! I’ve always been more of a lurker, but it’s crazy to see how far your blog has come! We all appreciate the “realness” and knowing you’re not alone is SO helpful in my opinion. I put my career on the backburner for my husband’s and although the 3 moves in less than 3 years took a huge toll on me, it’s been for the best and we’ve been in Omaha, NE for 4 1/2 years now! (well, we’ve moved twice here too now, but that’s besides the point).
Hang in there. Things will get better. You’ll adjust and you’ll look back on these past few weeks as such a growing opportunity for you and Christian!
Maren
Total Carrie Bradshaw moment! I feel ya, I moved to a new city last year (also had a TRULY horrible experience with movers-12 hours late, broken items), and some things can be tough for sure in the transition. It definitely makes you feel weird and unsettled. I love my city now, and things have seemed to fall into place! Hang in there, you’ll figure it all out and feel all the better for it.
LOVE your blog and insta, thank you for this post too!!
I feel this. We moved last year to Germany after living in the most magical, homey place I’ve ever felt. It’s been tough to say the least. There have been a lot of days where I’ve cried in the parking lot because I don’t speak German and while everyone is lovely I’m just overwhelmed and confused. BUT there are also a lot of days where I think dang I am so lucky to have this experience. Every day Germany feels a little more like home and I’m sure once I fully get settled we will have to move again #militarylife but at the end of the day it’s a big adventure. I’ve seen parts of the world I’ve only dreamed of seeing and I gotta be grateful. I hope you enjoy my hometown (sf) you gotta try Columbo extra sour bread & it’s it ice cream!
I just made a big move myself after living somewhere for 7 years. My old town was much smaller and now I’m living in a huge city. It’s crazy the little obstacles and challenges I have ran into that I didn’t expect, on top of the expected ones (like finding your way to the best grocery store, making friends, and finding a new hair stylist!) I’m trying to be patient and understand that it isn’t going to all fall together in a week (which is hard!) best of luck in your adjustment!!! Xoxo
Girl your IG stories have been a blessing for me during your whole moving process. We just moved last week from Kansas to North Carolina for my husband’s residency and girl I get it. Is there such a thing as a “good” moving company? I think not. Minimum wage decisions happenin allllllll over the place. Boxes lost, heirlooms destroyed, sad time. BUT, hopefully these new places come with amazing new friends, and tons of wisdom earned in the process. Also, like, it is expensive! (insert Erika Jayne it’s epxensive to be me, here.) haha
Anyway, not to complain too much either, hang in there girl. We will both have these places feeling homie and back to normal in no time!
Xo
This post truly got me. Exactly one year ago today, my fiance and I purchased our first home together. An adorable townhome just outside of D.C. with a patio and an adorable neighborhood to walk a dog. Therefore, within 3 days of living in this house, I bought a 7 month old golden retriever lab mix. He was the best puppy, was housebroken in about 3 days, and was only crated about 2 months. And yet I found myself in what felt like a 2 month long panic attack and endless crying fits. I knew it made no sense! This was what I wanted! I had the house, the guy, the perfect dog (other than Bailey though I bet his resume would be pretty close to hers), and a great career. I didn’t understand where any of this was coming from and I thought long and hard about seeking a life counselor. I felt so ungrateful for being so unhappy when my life was picture perfect. Within a few months, I finally adjusted and looking back on all of it, I am so happy to have done the things I have within the last year. It was so scary owning a home, being responsible for another living animal, and no longer being the single 20 something living in her tiny one bedroom apartment. I learned that while I know I can always rely on myself, I don’t have to and somehow that made me even more independent and confident. I also want to thank you. You’re care free and no shits given personality you show us through your instagram stores has helped me be this way as well. I haven’t been over thinking as much and instead just being me. And it has been one hell of a year, but the best is yet to come. Thank you Kathleen!
I read your blog post about the move. Almost a year since we uprooted from Texas to SF. The adjustments have been terribly painful and I have cried many tears. Our dogs have been confined to a 900 square foot apt which they are not used to and I was starting over yet again to find my place. I will tell you that it takes grace to live in the bay and always remember to keep your southern charm about you. I would some day love to meet you! You have been a guiding light in the real ness ❤️Li
I have loved following along with you for the past few years and I’m so excited for you, Barnez and the fur babies on your new journey. I know you’ll be fabulous wherever you go! ps- it was totally a Carrie Bradshaw moment, own it sister!!
Stay strong Kathleen!! Sending you and C lots of love during this transition! Miss you guys a ton!
Welcome to Northern California!
Moving is the worst, once you are all unpacked you will feel better. As you’ve no doubt heard, SF in the summer is cold af. The fall is great though! Usually it’s less foggy and you might even be able to wear shorts and a tank.
Fun things to do:
SF Giants game (day game) even if you’re not a baseball fan it’s realky fun to be on the bay.
Mill Valley. So cute. Ditto for Sausalito.
Stinson Beach. Quintessential Northern California hippy beach town. I haven’t been there in a while so if it sucks now I apologize.
This is super touristy but I loved the Alcatraz tour.
Also touristy but you HAVE to walk across the Golden Gate Bridge at least once.
Take care!
Jenny
Girlllllll I feel like this post was written for me! I just recently had a very similar moving experience (though our movers weren’t as bad as yours). And it was lead into with a horrible selling experience, horrible buying experience, moving in with my parents for a month (yup we moved twice) and a horrible closing experience. And our cat had lots of trouble adjusting to the new house too, but he’s much better! Keep your head up, lean on your husband because you two are a team in this process and in life, and don’t be afraid to ask for help from family and friends whether physical or emotional! I definitely shed my fair share of tears and had a few breakdowns in Lowe’s. And it’s funny, “nothing worth having ever comes easy” was on repeat in my head the whole time. Bottom line, we love our home and it was worth it – and yours is too! That bay window sounds dreamy! Everyone says someday we will look back on this and laugh…I’ll let you know if that ever happens because right now I’m still a little stressed out honestly! 🙂
My husband and I relocated to a new city a year ago from a place we loved and called home. It’s definitely tough to transition and make friends, but it does get easier. It’s so fun exploring a new city with the one you love! I have a feeling you’re going to be taking SF by storm before you know it…maybe even starting a Bay Area Real housewives??!!
Lady! As someone who has never been able to step out of her comfort zone location-wise (grew up went to school and now work all in MA, even though I’ve had the opportunity and desire to live else where, I just couldnt pull the trigger) know that I am jealous of your struggle! It definitely sucks to want to wallow in a pity party and have someone remind you of starving children in Africa, and I think a small pity party is cathartic and necessary at times, but I am envious of your experiences. I’ve expanded my horizons in other ways, and MA has so so much to offer, but I always say “if I had the guts I’d move to XYZ” and then anxiety settles in and the million reasons you can always think of keeps me where I am. Anyways, hopefully that helps you to know someone is living vicariously through your life’s ups and downs, thank you for sharing the real along with the pretty! Another Theodore Roosevelt quote I love and that helps me refocus on what matters is “Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.”
I moved from Texas to South Carolina a few years ago. It was the worst moving experience ever. The movers held my stuff hostage for almost 2 months. We had to get the police involved. When I eventually got my belongings, the good stuff was stolen (TV’s) and the furniture was banged up. I still look at it today and see the dents from those movers. We had done extensive research before hiring these movers and they had a fake name that was the same name as a very popular company. We reported them to multiple different places and I ended up finding people on twitter that had the exact same experience as I did with this fake company. Worst moving experience ever! I have moved three times since then and thankfully it has been great experiences with other companies.
This resonates with me so much right now!! My husband just finished his internal medicine residency and started an endocrinology fellowship, which led us to move from Connecticut to Minnesota. I don’t think I have had a more exhausting and challenging couple of weeks. We have a 20 month old (with no family on this continent which has been just wonderful), I submitted and defended my PhD early June, and then the packing and moving – omg! Rather than pay for movers we decided to pack our own truck and that has been the worst experience of my life. Like you said rather than keep on complaining (which we definitely can do plenty of) I keep on trying to look at the positives and think of how we have grown as a couple and as individuals.
And I also keep on wondering why I had to fall in love with someone who wants to keep on specializing and sub specializing! This post has given me such encouragement and inspiration! Good luck with everything!!!!
I so feel you, and I’m glad you shared! We just moved from Florida to Portland for my husband to start residency. We had a horrible moving experience too…missed our flight on the front end (totally our fault), so we ended up with a 14 hour airport/travel day with two dogs. Then our stuff got here 10 days late (we didn’t see it for almost 30 days total), and water got into one of the U-Box containers, so some of our furniture and clothes are moldy, and everything smells. THE THINGS WE GO THROUGH FOR THOSE DR HUSBANDS. I think moving is just the actual worst, and things *have* to look up from here!
Aww honey. Thanks for sharing. If it’s any consolation everyone I know, myself included, had a rough week & ended up in a puddle of tears at some point. Some blame it on that crazy full moon. IDK. Life is hard sometimes & moving is one of the top stressors. Please know that SF’s got you, babe. You’ve got a built in tribe that is here for you & will support you. You’re not alone in this.
I’ll be honest, I cried myself to sleep last night. Just overwhelmed by life (I got laid off a few weeks ago) & trying to stay positive & focused. I started crying when I read your post. This is life. It’s not always IG pretty. Sometime we just have to let ourselves fall apart for a minute. I find in those moments I try really hard to focus on what I’m grateful for. That really helps. You, my dear, have so many blessings in your life & your hair is super pretty everyday☺️so you’re good, boo!
I know that everyone here in SF joins me in saying that we’re so happy you, Christian, Bailey & Lula are here in our city by the bay & that the best is yet to come. Big hugs to you, girl
Thank you for being so candid. I’m working on moving forward on some of my buggers goals – ones outside my comfort zone. I have a plan to send 4 emails this month that REALLY scare me! Including sending one to YOU
Kudos to you for getting out your feelings! I’m so sorry this is how your fresh start in a new city began. But I have no doubt that you guys are going to create such a beautiful chapter in SF!
The Champagne Edit
This was such a great post to read. I have felt so many times that maybe I am not doing what I should be or want to give up because it is hard and tiring but at the end of the day you are so right. There is nothing great about things coming easy.
One of my favorite life quotes is: “Always go with the choice that scares you the most, because that’s the one that is go in to help you grow” – Caroline Myss
I can’t wait to see where this new journey takes you!
XO –
Courtney
Hang in there! Almost 3 years ago, I moved from Baton Rouge to Austin – about a 7-hour distance. I’d lived and worked in Baton Rouge for 12 years, and only knew 1 person in Austin. I couldn’t afford movers, so my mom and I moved EVERYTHING – I was shocked that no one offered to help us in Austin and I about cried having to carry my couch upstairs in the Texas heat. Within 2 months of living here, my car was broken into – window busted, coach bag + iPad stolen, and there was a mouse in my apartment. At my new job, things were rough. At a work party, a coworker asked, “How are you liking Austin?” I replied with truth: “Well my car was broken into and I had a mouse in my apartment. Those never happened to me before, so we will see.” My less-than-loving answer put a cloud on that job. But I eventually got a new job, made new friends, got my window fixed, and my cat caught the mouse. Over time, I’ve come to love Austin and now at least I know, I can move anywhere! You got this! We are all here for you!
Hang in there, friend. You’ll soon be feeling for SF what you felt for OC when you prepared to move. ❤️ It’s OK to feel all of these emotions-change is hard! Maybe a class at the gym to melt the stress away and perhaps meet some new friends might help?!
When you’re ready, give us East Coastinians a tour of the city from a local’s perspective.
We are so excited to see what this next chapter holds for you and Barnez!
You got this girl!! I applaud how candid you are about sharing this experience. In this day and social media age, its admirable when people share the good with the bad. I hope that SF soon begins to feel like home for you. Remember that home is not a place, but a feeling. Snuggle with your fur babies and hold on to that feeling, look into your husbands eyes first thing in the morning and forget everything around you, and when its really, really bad, hide in the closet, cry and pray. And then brush off your shoulders, and keep moving on.
“I call to you, when my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” Psalm 61:2
I live in Socal right now and have been here for almost 5 years too and I’m thinking about moving someplace new but it’s also terrifying to me. So I feel your pain girl. Sending you love!
http://thegirlswhobrunch.com
Hi Kathleen! I totally feel your pain and frustration about moving to SF from Orange County. I moved from Irvine in 2009 when I started law school in SF and cannot imagine a worse moving experience! I lived in Pac Heights too (right by the Lyon St steps) and carrying boxes, mattresses, furniture, etc up 3 flights of stairs (no elevator) still gives me nightmares. All of my friends have horror stories- one had to remove all doors, railings, etc. and the other had to cut a couch in half after the movers lodged it in a doorway and couldn’t get it out!! SF is absolutely the least convenient city to move in and having awful movers would make me cry for hours too!
The upside is that once the move is over and you are finally settled in, it gets so much better! Pac Heights is the most beautiful area in SF (in my opinion) with parks everywhere and spectacular views. The architecture is phenomenal, you are walking distance from a bunch of great restaurants and shops (hello Fillmore St.), and the neighborhood is safe, clean, and quiet. SF is definitely a city that takes adjusting to, especially after living in a place like Orange County, where everything is convenient and set up for driving, relatively affordable, has warm weather, etc.
My advice is to use your car as little as possible- you will pay SO much money to park anywhere and the amount of damage done to your car will not make driving worth it (unless you leave the city). Use uber or lyft to get around and that will make your life so much easier. Have things delivered (use Amazon or other delivery services) otherwise errands will take you an entire day. Explore via walking and take day trips out of the city to see the beautiful areas around SF. I think you will end up loving your year there once you become more acclimated to city life in the Bay and try to enjoy the fantastic food, wine, and boutique shops as much as possible! Also, check out MNT pilates studio in SoMa, it is the best!
Hello from Columbus, MS … your dad’s old Endo nurse, Mandy, here! We too have just moved to a new place …from our beautiful, comfy, settled home of 10 years, where my children have grown up … to a “bigger than life reno” (that we hope to turn into a wedding venue one day). In the meantime, I do not see the end of the unpacking in sight, nor will we have a kitchen for another 2 months. I found your blog post so relatable & if I could, I would just give you a typical southern comfort hug & day that you’re not alone! It TRULY is a time to see a side of yourself (& your spouse) that otherwuse you wouldn’t see in your comfort zones. Even more so, it’s a place to put our trust in God, knowing that He sees around the “corners of our lives” while we only see directly what’s straight ahead in plain sight! I imagine God has big plans for you & Christian! This new place is just a step in molding you both into who He needs for where He wants you to go! You’re already closer to that than you were a week ago … & isn’t that what life is all about?! … growing into ALL that He saw for you! So when I cannot see past the boxes, projects & “to do” list, I have a good throw down cry & then remind myself that this is a temporary situation & that God is working, even when I don’t feel He is. Prayers for you two as you transition! You will thrive wherever you are!
~Mandy
I feel you!!! I was stepping on a flight in May for business and received a text saying my building was for sale and I’d need to move (unless I wanted to buy!) In a month I had to locate an apartment before I headed out of the country on another trip. While overseas I found out I got into grad school which conveniently starts a week before my move. My family keeps cheering me on and I truly believe our greatest joy comes after our hardest challenges. We may not love every step but hopefully in the end we are right where we should be. Sending love from the east coast!
I moved to San Francisco in October (and vowed that after that I would NOT move again for a while). Moving is super stressful – and I definitely identify with what you’re feeling (have done that every time I move cities, am surrounded by boxes and no friends etc.) It takes a while to figure out the rhythm of things for sure BUT I came to post to say… San Francisco is the BEST place – you’re going to love it here! So many amazing restaurants, beaches, city parks, hikes (not to mention Napa/Sonoma, Tahoe, Half Moon Bay, Carmel and all the amazing places for weekend trips!). People here are interesting, ambitious, friendly and open and there is always something fun to do. (My biggest learning here has been figuring out how to say ‘no’ more to protect my personal time for things like laundry…)
ALSO this is the worst weather we’ve had in ages… when the sun comes out I’m sure you’ll feel better 🙂
I just moved to a new city for fellowship – away from my family, away from the hospital where I trained for the past 7 years – and I feel you and Christian’s pain. I’ve cried more this past week than I did all of residency. Adjustments are hard but I am a firm believer that they are what make you stronger. I feel your pain and sending positive thoughts your way. Hang in there…
I have never told you that I have been one of your fans from day one. You were my escape from reality looking at all your posts even when you were still in MS. You always made it look fabulous. I don’t have as much time as I like on my cell so I have never really read your blog. I always followed you on insta and watched your stories when I had a chance. My sister told me about this post and told me to come read it. I am so glad I did but at the same time I wanted to send you a big hug and tell you I am so proud of you. I know we were only friends thru Patrick and Jimbo but I have loved watching your story. Being a resident wife is not as easy as it seems but you have made the most of it times ten!! You are so successful and have touched so many lives and brought so many smiles to faces. Just know you have lots of supporters who are so proud of our MS girl! Keep your chin up and give yourself a huge pat on your back. It’s amazing what you have achieved and I know it’s only the beginning. Thanks for sharing it all with us. YOU GO GIRL!!
My husband and I moved to SF 4 years ago (also in June) and were like wtf is this weather?! I feel your pain! It does get better. SF is an adjustment and culture shock all at once. And the expenses are no joke. As hard as it has been to live here sometimes I would not trade it for anything bc of everything we have been so lucky to experience around here (beaches, hiking, amazing food, culture, wine country, 45 different climates within a 10 mile radius, dog friendliness). We always remind ourselves that people travel from all over the world to visit this city so there’s gotta be something to it! Try taking Bailey to fort funston.. it’s the best/prettiest open dog area there is. Hang in there!
Hey girl! I was born and raised in the OC and have lived there for my whole life…. up until 7 months ago. My boyfriend got a job in the Bay, so we packed up our things and moved. From the time he got his offer letter to the time we unpacked in the Bay was about 2.5 weeks. It was honestly the longest 2.5 weeks of my life. We got into SO many arguments, and the move took a toll on us both physically and mentally. We had decided against hiring any movers or help (all the decent ones are pricey!) since we were already spending a fortune on breaking our lease. After packing everything up and hauling all our stuff down 3 flights of stairs to load onto our rental truck, and then getting everything back up onto the 2nd floor at our new place, we vowed to get help the next time we move. So I definitely feel ya on moving — it sucks! But at the end of the day, things will get better – you’ve just gotta take it one day at a time!
Your post on gratitude and now this, all I can say is thank you. Finding the words I can’t when I need them the most. My job moved me from my home state of West Virginia to Nebraska and now I am about to move to South Dakota. I have been almost moving to South Dakota since March so your perspective on all of this has helped me tremendously. Not to mention where I am moving, even though it is small and remote, is similar to SF in housing where you literally cannot look until you are serious about moving because things only last for a few days or weeks. Thank you for keeping it real.
You’ve got this! God always has a plan for you and that will become evident in due time. For now, just sit back and enjoy exploring your new city! My husband and I recently moved from Jacksonville, FL to Okinawa, Japan with the military and I can totally relate to your post. Everything is new to us here and we live out in town, so not speaking Japanese, but shopping and living in the community has been interesting. I am also the one in the military, so while almost all of the support groups are geared towards military wives, my husband has been navigating living in a new country as a military spouse. We aren’t sure why God sent us to the other side of the world, but we have another few years to here figure that out:) He has your best interest at heart, and when I go through difficulties with our move out here, I just reflect on that fact that He has a plan and I don’t want to try and twist His carefully crafted plan:)
Moving can be so rough, especially when transitioning to a big city! It was such an adjustment when I moved from Alabama to DC. Parking, groceries, less space, sticker shock, etc. can feel like such an undertaking, but once you adjust, the advantages of living in an urban area far outweigh those, imo!
You are a gem for pushing forward and giving your best even when things aren’t easy! I’m positive that these less than ideal situations are just little bumps in the road and you’ll be rewarded with even better adventures. Chin up, have that glass of vino and let the excitement of a new city and everything it has to offer in
You’ve got this! Just keep your faith in God- He has a plan for you and your family and although it might not be evident right now, let the story play out. Enjoy your time in your new city and keep your chin up! Moving is always tough…my husband and I recently moved from Jacksonville, FL to Okinawa, Japan with the military and it has been a rough transition learning to live in a new country out in town away from the bases. And I am the one in the military….he has had to learn all the new adjustments to not only living in a new country, but being a military spouse when all the support groups are for military wives! I just keep telling myself that God has a plan that only He knows what the story is going to be; we must just keep believing in this plan and enjoy the stories you will have to tell your family:) Best of luck settling in!!
I love this post (and you) so much! I grew up in a military family moving all over the country. Now, my husband and I are both in the military…so the moving continues! It’s such an adventure and a blessing, but also a huge inconvenience/curse. My favorite quotes when I get super stressed with moving and job changes are these two:
1) “This too shall pass” a simple one but I find it so grounding!
2) “The world is too big to stay in one place, and life is too short to do just one thing” this one helps me when I start to miss my previous homes and jobs!
Hang in there, pretty lady! You got this 🙂
I can definitely relate to this post right now! I just graduated college, accepted a new job, found an apartment, and moved to a new city in the span of a couple weeks—crazy! It’s hard going from a place filled with “your people” and friendly routine to something completely new. I continue to feel stretched and overwhelmed and simply out of my league. Everyday I discover more “new” things I need…and it’s getting old lol—I have to find new friends, a new church, new local coffee shop, new roads to navigate, etc.
And I hear similar feelings being shared by you, but perhaps more deeply! You’ve got a lot going on! But I did want to share some encouragement that I always return to when I feel like life is seemingly going awry/wrong/difficult. Perhaps it will give you the fresh perspective I so often am in need of.
“For a seed to come fully into its own, it must become wholly undone. The shell must break open, its insides must come out, and everything must change. If you didn’t understand what life looks like, you might mistake it for complete destruction…brokenness can make abundance.” <3
girl, i get it! i just did the opposite move and i LOVE SF. i never thought i would leave, but career 🙂 LA is so spread out, i miss running in SF and getting from neighborhood to neighborhood so easily. loved running on the golden gate bridge and brunch in the marina after. and my move, awful! my moving company was great, but one of the movers had a stroke, thank God he’s fine but it was scary! our electricity went out the first day and they couldn’t get it really running for a couple weeks and a bunch of other less urgent issues.
it will be a great move! SF is my favorite city and i know you’ll love it soon (summer is a bit gloomy but wait till September and it’ll be awesome). also, sage the apartment! sounds a little nutty but we have been doing that and our luck has been turning around.
best of luck!!!
Hang in there! I have had so many moments in my life (moving as a military wife, going through a divorce, and being a single mom), and even though each situation was frustrating, scary, and nothing I was prepared for, each time I became stronger and am a better (more confident) person because of it. I recently broke my foot during a run, and for the first time in my adult life I was immobile and couldn’t do anything. Running is a big part of my life, and so is my job, and I was alone for days on end. I learned so much during the time I was home, and after I got through my emotional days, I have a completely new appreciation for people that are truly handicapped and I am so much more appreciative for all that I have.
Btw, I absolutely adore your blog and IG stories! Just keep your head up and remember the Lord sees the big picture even when we get stuck in the moment.
Best of luck with this new change in yalls lives! Something I found helpful when I moved across the country was listening to the local radio station from back home on the iHeart radio app. It really helped in times of homesickness!
I went to Chapman University in good ol’ Orange, California and moved to San Francisco’s shortly after. I’ve been here 6 years and couldn’t imagine living anywhere else. You can’t be hard on yourself about the love for at least the first six months. Even now I have at least one annual call to my dad in tears waking, “why do I live here?”. I always say I pay a premium to live in SF and be inconvenienced. Everything is harder, groceries, laundry, parking, etc.
Apart from the cost, smaller spaces and June gloom, there are SO many things to loOK forward to and explore! I’ve made some lifelong friends here, we have the world’s leading tech right at our fingertips, Napa is a short ride away, LA is an hour flight, and the views in this city never get old. Hold your head up high and know it’s okay to feel sad and overwhelmed. 6 months from now, (heck— 6 years from now) you won’t be able to imagine living anywhere else 🙂
Kathleen,
First, yasss – definitely a Carrie Bradshaw moment!!
Now that that is out of the way, I totally feel you! After law school, I moved three times before settling in the fourth city!! ♀️ So I remember how expensive it was (NYC, hello) and how challenging it is for our furry friends. But Audrey (my yorkie) peed on the floor SEVERAL times, but I think she took it better than I did!
Take heart because you’ll find your groove. My friend moved to SF after college and she loved it. And I loved it when I went out and visited her! It’s such a cool city, I wish she still lived out there Remember what 1 Peter 5 says… “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” That verse gives me so much comfort!!
You and Christian will be in my thoughts and prayers as y’all adjust to your new city. Thanks for being so authentic in your posts and Instastories!! I’m usually a DMer, but I’m respecting your request for no DMs!
xoxo,
Miranda
Ahhh, an honest post I so identify with as I too find myself in the dredges of a move and all the anxiety and uncertainty that comes along with it. When we moved our young family to Dubai 7 years ago we came across the following quote…perhaps you’re familiar. It’s become a family motto of sorts. And a reminder that sailing out of the safe harbor always provides the best vistas and perspectives. I love following along on CBL. Your humor and style are a pleasure best of luck settling in!
‘Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do, then by the things you did do. So throw off the blowines, sail away from the safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore, dream, discover.’ -Mark Twain
Hang tough. I moved from the US to Australia almost a year ago and it has been harder than I ever imagined. And yes, moving companies are very hit or miss. Ours (which by all account was a reliable company) went out of business due to international drug trafficking charges right after shipping our goods in a container to Australia. Then the holding company wouldn’t release until we pain an additional $15,000 of “storage fees” because they couldn’t get the money from the US company. Took about 4 months to sort out before we had anything to eat off of or sleep on beside a blow up mattress. But in the end, things work out. Life has a way of directing us where we are supposed to be even if it seems forceful. And your fur kids will begin to get more comfortable. Mine had a rough time after quarantine but the settled in once they felt we were settled. My only advice is to try and fine a fitness studio or someplace you can go to meet some new people. Once I met people through yoga classes and free events in my area (Lululemon has a lot of community events) I started to feel more at home. Best of luck!
This is another straight from the heart post Kathleen! That’s why I really look up to you because you are always true to your readers. It’s not always sunny and happy, most times we struggle in our daily lives. Sometimes when it rains it pours, when bad things happen it seems like those things just keep going. Like bad luck or whatever you call it. But there is always a silver lining, that rainbow at the end of the rain (or storm) and you will see the sun shine again. I know moving sucks, but guys got this! This is nothing to what you’ve been through in the past. Hang in there! In the meantime don’t forget to count your blessings. Because sometimes, it’s the little things that count. 🙂
Carina
http://theagelessmillennial.com/
This post came just in time since am
Moving my family from Miami to Orlando and even tho is not so far away everything in my life is changing very suddenly, the kids schools, no family , leaving my job after 17 years , leaving behind the house were my kids were born is very overwhelming but I know that if God is letting us take this new journey is because we are not going alone and he is coming with us and that gives me peace in the middle of the chaos.
Thank you for sharing and letting me know am not the only one experiencing all this feelings.
Good luck and God bless
A ship in harbor is safe…but that’s not what ships are made for. One day at a time…it will turn around…life is full of ups and downs…if we didn’t have downs…we’d never learn to appreciate the ups. I am keeping a good thought for you and I KNOW soon there will be more good days then bad!
I just went through this last year. We moved from LA to NYC and had finally adjusted after five years and uprooted and moved to Atlanta. Your post perfectly describes so many things I have felt over the last year. But I’m starting to feel like it’s home now and I promise you it will get better and you won’t remember these days soon! You got this girl!
I feel your pain!! I’ve moved residences over 30 times, across four different states and all the moves were tough, but many of the moves were 10 levels less then desirable:( You’re a tough girl with a supportive husband and I have no doubt that this will be a fantastic adventure for you!! Much love! Xoxo
Moving is so hard. We moved a year ago to a house I love in a great neighborhood and while I was so happy to be moving into a home we loved, I hated the packing and how chaotic everything felt both in the old house and then in the new house. Hang in there! It will get better soon!
Tears! Seriously thank you for sharing this! We don’t often share the hard stuff with the world, but we all have it. So thank you! And I just put that quote in my phone’s notes. So good. I’m currently in a long distance relationship and we’re trying so hard to figure out where we’re going to live and navigate all our complications and it’s exhausting. I have a meltdown at least once a month about it. Navigating life is so hard sometimes! But thank you for sharing! And I hope things are getting better by the minute!
xoxo!
Katie
http://www.pearlsandtwirls.net
It’s hard to be outside of our comfort zones but it is the best experience to teach us strength and endurance. Hang in there because it’s not easy to get up and just pack your things away. Moving has its own set of challenges and you guys are doing what you can. In a few weeks once life settles and you guys get into a new groove, this will only be a hiccup. I am sure you’ll love SF! I know I do and always look forward to my visit. Happy weekend!
Maureen | http://www.littlemisscasual.com
Welcome to the Bay area, once falls arrive in SF is when your summer will start, TRUE, I invite you to visit my town of Burlingame south of the airport on those foggy days in the city the sun will be shinning here, our beautiful train station is a wonderful spot for your blog pictures, and we have great restaurants on Burlingame ave, and across the freeway on bayshore the bay.
Aw, I totally relate to this experience and almost teared up reading this post because it hit so close to home! I moved to San Francisco from NC several years ago and it was shocking, to say the least; it was the hardest year of my life. My housing/parking setup was similar to yours and I felt like the city was literally swallowing me in terms of $$, time, inconvenience, the vibe/the people, and even the weather. While I never grew to love the city, we made it through. Feel free to email me if you need suggestions on churches, how to handle it all, tips/tricks! San Francisco is NOT an easy city to live in or adjust to, especially if you’re from the south! All the best. xo
Thank you for sharing! I’m from the south originally as well and my hubs and I have been in Bloomington, Indiana for his PhD program for the past five years. We’re about to move to a totally new place as well and I’m starting to feel excited but extremely nervous too. I struggle with looking too far forward about the future – putting down roots, family, etc that I don’t enjoy the stage we’re in now. It’s always nice to hear that you’re not the only one in a similar situation. I totally agree with you about military wives… I have no idea how they do it! Excited to follow along your new adventure in SF. I’ve traveled there many times – so much to see and eat!
I just moved from NY to London and it has been HARD! Reading this gave me so much comfort knowing change is hard for all of us and I’m not alone. I know soon you’ll be loving SF and I can’t wait to see the journey. Thank you for sharing the lows with the highs. Xo
Residency can be so lonely for a spouse! We moved last year for 1 year fellowship in Winston-Salem, NC. I was SO scared. I’ve never lived anywhere but MS! It ended up being one of the best years and now we’ve taken up permanent residence in NC! God uses trials to show us some of his best work! Lean on him and trust that he is weaving an amazing and intracate story into the beautiful fabric of your life! This will be an amazing adventure for you both! Also, my best friend is Swiss and took a job in San Fran for the summer, after working in China the past several years, shoot me an email if you’d like me to connect y’all…she’s exploring the city every chance she can get and has received such a warm welcome! I hope you find a similar welcome and can’t wait to see what this year has in store for you! Xx
Reading this post and these comments – and tearing up at my desk. Kathleen, you are strong, compassionate and genuine. Thank you for being vulnerable with us and reminding us that it’s okay to not be okay sometimes. Ladies, you are all so incredible! The outpouring of love in these comments makes me so grateful for the internet and these crazy communities we can build.
What an amazing GIFT to spend a year in SF! You are going to have the best time exploring!
This made me cry! I just moved out of state two weeks ago for the same reason and feel the exact same way. Just know you are never alone and this blog post helped me be stronger in my hardest times. Moving to a new place where you don’t know anyone and have no family is the hardest thing but like you said it makes us stronger and one day we will look back in pride on what we learned from the experience. Thank you so much for this! Good luck to you in your new adventure, we’re in this together!:)