– finding ways to continue enjoying Valentine’s roses –
– creating more free space for playtime with my little guys –
– my first experience with spray body oil and it’s THE BEST –
– trying to see if I can eventually shape a bonsai tree –
– loving this metallic sling bag from Parker Thatch –
It has been a really sweet and peaceful week. And I even had a 24-hour bug on Tuesday, so that’s saying something!
I’ve had a work decision to make that has been looming over me. A decision on whether to start a second business opportunity or pause it for now (update 2/24: this is not referencing this website or my social media, this is a second, separate business I’m referencing). After praying about it and thinking about it for a while, I made a decision to put it to the side. I was a little bummed, but ultimately felt it was the right choice in my gut.
When you choose your family or your peace over career and money – the world will make you feel like that’s the lazy or weak way out. However, when I happened to share my choice with my small group this week, I was unexpectedly met with so much encouragement and support. And I don’t know that I had any expectations when I shared it, but then was so touched that these people who know me personally and my heart and values – they were proud of me for not following the world’s view of success and instead choosing my own view of success.
It’s really stuck with me because while I felt I was being true to myself, I was also a little disappointed that I didn’t seem to have the drive and ambition that I used to. But I think it’s because being a mother changes your priorities. All of a sudden you see how incredibly fast time moves by you, and if you don’t have the time to stop and enjoy it, you’ll miss it. There’s no rewind button on your life.
If you are a person of faith or have any interest in Christianity, I highly recommend John Mark Comer’s The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry. It was given to me by my dear friend and fabulous co-founder of Grace & James Kids. When she gave it to me she said, “I wish I had been able to read this when I was a new mom,” and now I absolutely understand why she said that. Ever since I read that book, I view my choices and how I spend my time differently. It’s a game-changer.
That’s the spill of my heart this week – thank you for reading this novel! Appreciate my blog readers so much. This is a special and unique community, unlike social media. It’s deeper. Thanks for checking in and I hope everyone has a beautiful weekend – XO –
I’m a long-time reader who loves your work but seldom comments. (Sorry about that.) Just want to loudly applaud your choice to choose family, margin of time, and personal gut feelings over the US’s definition of success. You’re right. You can never get back your time, so it’s important YOU choose how to spend it. I’m now a grandmother to two babies and cognizant of how fast the years fly. When my kids were little, I used to hate when people told me how quick time goes. When you’re in the thick of it, you feel like the days are looooooong. I’m now very aware of how our years are actually sooooo short. Savor them in exactly the way you feel called. You go, girl!!
Congratulations on your decision. I wondered if you would take a break & you did. Wishing you the best for you, your husband, and children.
Kathleen, thank you for sharing this! I read that book after you recommended it on stories last year, and it has truly changed my mindset and life as well. I have two boys, ages 3 and 1, and I look up to you so much as an influencer. It’s so encouraging to see your vulnerability about things like this! And I would have respected your decision either way – it’s just encouraging that you approach decisions like these prayerfully and thoughtfully. Thanks for being a voice of peace and faith in the crazy world of fashion and social media! Truly inspiring. 🙂
I love how you explained this. I feel it so deeply. I read that book after you recommended it and it’s done wonders for my mind and soul. I am so happy for you and your decision. Cheers to following our hearts and recognizing that time is so very precious.
So glad you can be more at peace with your decision! I’ve followed you since you were in Orange County and connected so much when you were open about the ups and downs of being married to a resident. Please know every time you share these vulnerable posts, your followers who truly care about you, will respond with compassion and understanding. I have a one year old now (just a few weeks ahead of Theo!), and never thought my views on my career would change this drastically after being blessed with a child. Loved that you leaned into God during this time, trusting in His path will only lead to even brighter beginnings! Congratulations on your decision again! And thanks for the book recommendation, ordering it now!
I really needed to read this after making a similar decision for similar reasons this week. Thank you for sharing. Good for you.
As a mother to two under two, and having been extremely goal-oriented in the past, I am sending heartfelt congrats to you. I get exactly where you’re coming from. The pivot can feel hard and also result in so much peace. I also read the ruthless elimination after you recommended it, and it often comes to mind as a reminder to return to the things that I say I value the most. You don’t know me, and yet I am so proud of you. All the best to you and the fam!
Kathleen, I love your blog and I love following along with you. I am probably your mother’s age and a grandmother of 2, soon to be 3 boys. I love your sentiment about taking time to enjoy and be present. I was a working mother and felt guilty for retiring at a young age (53). I loved working and my 2 children went to daycare and turned out just fine. I loved my life working and raising my family but I would not trade one second of my retirement. I get to enjoy grandkids and elderly parents and friends and travel and on and on. Thank you for your sentiments and the book recommendation!
This is beautiful and encouraging.
We recently decided that my husband would quit his six figure job and ‘retire’ at 39. I have a great job that I love, his was stressful and involved long hours, and he was missing out on our kids’ lives. We definitely had to rearrange our budget, but we have zero regrets. Daddy meets them at the bus stop, Daddy is home when they’re not feeling well, Daddy is *there*. Most people are baffled by the idea of giving up all that money, but it was the perfect decision for our family.
I absolutely agree with you! We can’t listen to the world view, otherwise we get caught up on a path that’s not the best for us. And Comer’s book was a game-changer for me, too! I have recommended it to all my friends.
I’m so excited for you and your new season. I’ve been a subscriber since you worked in banking and bought your first home (time really does fly:-). Warm wishes to you and your family.
Kathleen, I am so proud of you! I remember leaving a comment on one of your blog post years ago about how after Charlie’s death, I had finally realized that I had lived my life believing in the world’s view of success rather than believing in God’s view of success and how I had so much regret in my heart. I’ll never forget what you responded. You said “Maxine, I read your comment to Christian because it meant so much to me when I read it. We both will try to remember this when we have children.” May God bless your family immensely for making this decision! Such an awesome decision for your two precious boys!
Love,
Maxine Minton (Nikki’s mom)
This is so true! Thank you for your words. This is not the first time that book has been recommended and I was just told by someone at work that I need to slow down. I think we (as moms) think that going slow = not doing enough. I am going to take this as a sign to buy this book and be intentional about slowing down – in work, life, motherhood and faith. For lent our church is focusing on slowing down and fasting (not for diet reason obvs!) and so your post was just so timely! I absolutely adore your blog and social (been following since like 2017!) Thanks girl xoxo