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Don’t we all feel like this sometimes?  When I was in New York, I had to the opportunity to chat with some fabulous girls about balancing full-time jobs, marriages, blogs, children, pets, etc.  It was beyond refreshing to talk to others who were trying to balance the same responsibilities as myself and realizing that while we as women can do anything we put our minds to, we can’t necessarily do everything and everything well.

This has been a big struggle for me since we’ve moved across the country.  I’ll never forget a short conversation Christian and I had while walking to dinner on our honeymoon.  I asked him what he was most looking forward to about marriage and living together and he said “the meals.”  When he asked me the same question I said “sharing responsibilities.”  I know, I am beyond lame, but acts of service is my love language (the other four being physical touch, gift giving, words of affirmation and quality time) and when Christian takes out the trash and vacuums the house, it’s practically equivalent to a bouquet of roses to me!

With Christian’s schedule, he can’t be around very much and that’s why my girlfriends in California have been everything to me!  Most of them haven’t even met Christian and I’m left defending myself that he’s real and not a fictional character.  This being said, it’s been pretty difficult to try to keep my life not only balanced, but also fulfilled and grateful.  It’s so easy to get caught up in trying to get everything done better and faster (this is where I sing Kanye West), but is that truly leaving me fulfilled?  What will I be most pleased with in a year – the fact that I checked everything off my to-do list each night of the week or the memory of taking a late-night swim in the pool with Christian and drinking wine while watching The Normal Heart (and maybe crying my eyes out)?  Or getting after-work drinks with my girlfriends on the beach while watching the sunset?

There will always be things to get done.  I can always do more – clean the house better, make a more delicious dinner, be more driven and ambitious in my day  job, spend more of my free time working on this blog – but most of all, I need to live in the moment and not just take photos of it.

Do any of you feel this way?  How do you try to keep your life balanced and fulfilled?  I would love to hear!  Thanks so much for reading and sharing and don’t forget to enter the BANDED giveaway! XO –

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17 thoughts on “Stretched Thin

  1. Kathleen this echoes my feelings exactly! I have a full-time day job in marketing and post on my blog five days a week and it is often a lot to take on. My fiancé travels a lot, so I have quite a bit of time to myself, but it’s still hard to balance friends, my love (blogging), my paycheck (day job), keeping house and all my extra curriculars. I hear ya!

    It seems like every time you post something from the hear like this, you’re reading my mind! Love following you. xo

  2. I’ve often wondered how you get it all done ! I know you are very conscientious…hence your ability to juggle so many balls. Glad to know you are taking the time to be “in the moment”…it’s essential to a well balanced life. To quote George Straight ” Life’s not about how many breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away.” Enjoy each and every one of those moments !!! xoxo

  3. I’ve felt this way lately too… Finally, I had to stop putting everyone and everything else first and take a moment for myself. I started setting aside a little time each week to read a book, scrapbook, or get my nails done. It really is about the memories we make with others – and taking care of ourselves!! One of my French friends always points out that American women constantly demand perfection of themselves… And why?! Nobody is perfect… It’s like we’re setting ourselves up on this never-ending hamster wheel, only to feel disappointed in the end. Maybe we need to live our lives a little more… French. Enjoy the little moments, indulge once in a while, and by all means, have the glass of wine on the beach. We’re all in this together!! Xoxo Britt

    1. LOVE this. Thank you so much for sharing. I completely relate! XOXO to you!

  4. First off, I love your blog! I’ve been reading for about a year and look forward to it every day. Second, I absolutely feel this way! I think it’s so much more of a female issue than a male issue. My husband never feels guilty about taking the evening “off” and relaxing instead of doing housework, cooking, etc. after work. I’m consciously trying to be more like that and let go of the guilt. It’s okay to have a slightly messy house, or not to get your workout in after work, or put something off until tomorrow. Sometimes we just need to let ourselves chill out. Hope you have a restful and enjoyable weekend! 🙂

    1. Very interesting point about men vs. woman – I totally see that. Sometimes we DO just need to chill out. Thank you so much for sharing!

  5. Very well said!! i think we all have these moments and months even!!! I like your point of being in the moment rather than actually crossing another to-do off your list!! xo

  6. I absolutely feel this way and I think so many others do too! Especially in this age where our lives can feel so exposed through social media…we want to share what we do, eat, etc, but then that adds pressure to making it look like we do everything and everything perfectly. I totally agree about how, at the end of the day, the moments will be so much more valuable than checking off my to-do list. I have to constantly remind myself to live in the moment and not be thinking about what’s next. If you have any advice, I’d love to hear! I’m so glad you shared this…thank you! xx

  7. It’s so easy to get caught up in everything that is *not* the moment, isn’t it? Yet it’s most important for us to try to be in the moment, to experience the present…but the mind is a very, very busy bee. My only recommendation is to keep trying to consciously slow down when you can, accept where you are, and know you’re always where you’re meant to be…try not to judge too harshly what you are and are not doing.

  8. Thank you for sharing! This is exactly what I needed to hear! I recently started my own blog and I have been LOVING every moment of it! I have finally found a way to share my hobbies and DIY projects, but I realized I am spending all of my free time thinking up new post ideas. I don’t want to hurt my marriage by using all of my free time on the blog, but I also don’t want to become a zombie – going to work, come home, sleep, repeat. I’m praying God uses my blog in a positive way to showcase my life, instead of BECOMING my life!

  9. ever. single. day. i hear ya!! balancing a full time job and the job that that fulfills me is exhausting! i have a long distance relationship, so while most would think it is easier because i don’t have to share time with him, i would say its a lot more difficult! i have to spend hours on the phone or facetiming when i could be using my computer to do work while he sat next to me on the couch. this week i broke down and hired a housekeeper. i was so concerned that it made me lazy, pretentious or incompetent but my sweet mother reminded me that all it means is that i am a go-getter with too much to do to worry about dusting and cleaning baseboards. i was constantly complaining that there werent enough hours in my day to keep up with the cat and dog hair on my floors, so now i will alleviate my problem. i don’t think it makes me a bad future wife, it just gives me a little bit of a break!

  10. I totally know how you feel. I actually just wrote a little bit about how I tend to overextend myself a LOT. My husband is NEVER around (law student) so I take on more and more projects to fill my time. I am always trying to do everything, and do everything perfectly. It is exhausting! But I think so many women our age are doing the same thing. It is so hard to find the balance.

    Nikki
    thefashionablewife.com

  11. I love, love, love this post. I’ve recently accepted that my to do list will never be completely done, and that’s ok – it’s life! I’ve also committed to not doing housework alone anymore (a bit harder I’m sure for you with Christian working long hours) but it’s stopped me creating busy work and never being done with the cleaning to do list either. And it keeps my husband accountable too as I’m not taking care of everything when he’s not around 🙂 Enjoy your weekend creating some special moments.

  12. Oh my gosh yes. About the time of my birthday last year something just clicked – this is my life and I am responsible for my joy. I started focusing more on myself and tried to remind myself what I was truly great at, what made me the happiest. I stopped trying to impress people at work, but kept working hard to satisfy my own high standards. Stopped dressing for other to get compliments to boost my self-esteem, but wore the clothes I felt comfortable in and truly loved. Stopped beating myself up over doughnuts, they’re so delicious, indulge. Granted, I have no plus one, no kids, heck, no pets to worry about, so I focus on what makes me happy and everything seemed to balance better. Focusing on me made it easier to give more to friends and work and volunteering. xx

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