san francisco skyline

To say the past week has been brutal would be an understatement.  I certainly don’t want to write an entire blog post complaining… but I loved connecting with you guys when I got so vulnerable in this post over real life, truthful, honest stuff. The kind of stuff we don’t talk about that much because we feel the need to say “things are great – it’s all good!” whenever someone asks, regardless of what’s really going on.

I’ve been running on an empty tank.  I’ve never had a moving experience that was this challenging and exhausting.

After doing extensive research (and paying more than I ever have for a move), our movers were terrible  for many different reasons. To name just a few, they started off six hours late.  Then brought in all the boxes first even though we asked them to bring the furniture so when they left 5.5 hours later, we couldn’t even walk in our new place, making it next to impossible to unpack anything.  Many things were chipped, dented, marked up, they left us with their trash, etc.  PSA: If you’re in the Orange County area and looking for movers, email me and I’ll point you in the right direction. For about three days I’ve been brewing my Yelp review that is to come for this company… my only form of justice. Justice shall be served!!!

Our second night in our new place I sobbed for two hours, like a child. It felt like I couldn’t breath, I was claustrophobic, stressed and overwhelmed. Two weeks ago everything was cozy and great, and now it felt like everything was upside down.

The pets have had a little bit of trouble adjusting (this happened when we moved from Mississippi also), and we don’t have a washer & dryer yet so there’s laundry and pet accidents just hanging out in our apartment.  My car barely fits in the garage spot we’re paying extra to have access to – thank God I have an old car because I will for sure be scratching it up, #Godbless #notfromhere.

I could list 20 more inconveniences and challenges that have risen in the past week.  Things I didn’t even realize would be obstacles have become obstacles.  Nothing is easy and everything costs $$$, even when it comes to throwing away your trash.  As in like, hundreds of dollars… for getting rid of your moving trash.

BUT in order to try to keep my chin up during times like this, I remember this:

“Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty… I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life.” – Theodore Roosevelt

Nothing worth having comes easy, and the best experiences and moments usually happen outside of your comfort zone.  In my life I’ve found this to be so true.

Christian and I went to dinner on our last night together in Orange County. Just a little neighborhood spot and a typical weekend go-to for us.  We were reflecting on the past five years and how slow and fast they’ve gone by.

I’m definitely not who I was when we first moved to California in 2013. Five years is the longest either of us has lived in one town since high school. We’ve had many good times along with many sad times. We created our first home together. I found a job I loved in a global retail industry and then moved onto taking CBL full-time, which was something I hadn’t even known was possible when I started blogging 100 years ago. Christian became a specialized head and neck surgeon and decided to do another year of training (we definitely did not plan on that when we moved here).

We also experienced loss and sadness, but these times offered opportunity for growth and life lessons.

I was so intimidated to move somewhere as big as Orange County.  A few years later, I felt comfortable and confident in my new job, local industry, relationships, church, etc.  It wasn’t easy uprooting our lives and moving across the country, but it led to some of the most exciting and FUN opportunities of my life thus far.

Just when I started really feeling like OC was home… we had to pack it up and start all over.  It hasn’t been easy, and I didn’t expect it to be. But in order to achieve big things, you have to have the courage to step outside your comfort zone.  You could stay in a bubble and feel safe, nothing bad can happen. Or you can choose to live a life filled with adventures and challenges, learning more about yourself and what you can handle and achieve in your life.

Even though I have been pretty blue the past week… I know that things will turn around and I’ll look back on this experience with nostalgia and pride because it will symbolize the courage we had to have to try.  I’m not sure what I’ll learn from this experience just yet, but I know it’s there.

And that’s worth something.

I’d love to hear how you guys feel about stepping outside of your comfort zone or any quotes you love on this topic. So many of you have sent the most thoughtful and helpful emails and direct messages about transitioning to NorCal or moving/packing for your spouse. Shoutout the military wives who are the real heroes and have REALLY  helped me keep things in perspective!

Thanks so much for reading and sharing – you guys truly are the best.  Love you, mean it – XO –

PS – I wrote this post at my desk in front of a bay window, looking out at the city.  I couldn’t help but wonder… is this a Carrie Bradshaw moment?

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blue and white surfboard

– summer surboard dreamin’ –

gondola with flowersblazer dress

dress | sandals | bag | photo by Kathy DeNinno

– and a gondola filled with roses… hello dreamy –

pet resume

– putting together a pet resume a few weeks ago (and this is for real) to go along with our pitch to find a home in SF… of course Lula is welcome everywhere, it’s Bailey that required the hard sell #Godbless –

tuckernuck earrings

– some seriously fabulous earrings I can’t wait to wear –

josephine flats

– the most chic black cat flats that you know this cat lady will be wearing all over SF –

Happy Friday babes! As of today… we are San Francisco residents.  This transition has been a long time coming, but seeing as we literally found our apartment less than two weeks ago, it’s been a whirlwind at the same time.  I still have a few more OC moments to share with you guys – including a fun little video I’m working on!  But I’m also excited to explore and start sharing some of this new city.

Our movers are unloading our things this morning, and I plan to live that grungy workout clothes 24/7 life all weekend to get as much unpacked as possible. I can’t live amongst boxes any longer!!  Thankfully unpacking should be a lot easier because I tried to clean everything well beforehand to make the process go by faster. As a creature of habit, I’m so ready to be back in a more consistent routine.  Therefore I’m highly motivated to power through and get it done!

I’ve gotten some messages from y’all about moving/packing tips.  The bad news is… I have no tips. We both despise moving (maybe because this is the 11th home and 5th city I’ve lived in since high school?), and I just hoard boxes, buy a ton of bubble wrap and tape and get to town. I try to clean things before I pack them (polishing silver, dusting, etc.), so the unpacking process is smoother. If I had great tips I would share but sadly, they’re just the basic roll-up-your-sleeves-and-put-your-yoga-pants-on kind of strategy.  Not exciting!

What do you guys have going on this weekend? It’s almost the 4th of July, holy cow! Who has plans? We have a rooftop in our new place that we’ll probably lay out a blanket and watch the fireworks… but if you have any fun holiday SF recs I’d love to hear! Thanks so much for reading and sharing – XO –

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summer picnic outfit

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This time of year I’m always in the mood for a picnic. Maybe it’s an after church Sunday adventure, day date or special occasion, but there’s nothing better than a blanket, picnic basket, glass of wine and some grass (or sand!). The. Best.

I’ve had this hat for years and it’s a staple. The perfect sized brim! I have a similar round straw bag, and it’s one I reach for often because it holds so much.  I got a picnic basket as a wedding gift from my besties mom. and it’s still one of my favorite gifts.  This dress has picnic dreams written all over it, and these shades are on my birthday wish list (I’ve been wearing the dupes for over a year).

Are you guys picnic people? Do you have picnic tips? I usually go for things that don’t involve lots of utensils – sandwiches, finger foods, wine in a can, chips. Keep it simple. I’d love to hear a favorite picnic memory!  Mine is probably beach picnics in Newport Beach with Christian.

Thanks so much for reading and sharing! XO –

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coral ribbed midi dress

If you’re thinking… have I seen ribbed midi dress before?

You might be right. I styled it in black here, but then I ended up buying a second one I loved it so much. I think this coral is beyond perfect with a summer tan, and I wanted to show how you could wear this midi in a more casual way. Paired with sneakers, this look is perfect for weekend hanging, while this one is more dressed up for the office or date night.

At this point, it only comes in one more color (navy), so clearly I should just go ahead and get it. I mean, let’s just be honest with ourselves, and by ourselves, I mean me.

What’s also great is that this particular style is 100% exclusive to Bloomingdale’s! I always love checking out AQUA and their exclusive selections for the change to snag styles you can’t get anywhere else.

french connection tommy ribbed dressvarsity letter patchleatherology crossbody baglevis ex boyfriend trucker jacketfrench connection ribbed bodycon dressstyling dresses and sneakerslevis denim jacketleatherology monogrammed bagdenim jacket with patches

photos by Christian Barnes

dress (comes in 3 colors! runs TTS), also love this one and this one | similar sneakers here, here and here | denim jacket, also love this one for fall | love this bag, this one and this one | similar sunglasses

Thank you so much for reading! And if you haven’t checked out some of the adorable weekend dresses that are 100% exclusive to Bloomingdale’s, you definitely want to take a peek!

For some more inspiration on how to style sneakers with dresses, be sure to check out this post too.

Thanks so much for reading – XO –

brought to you by Bloomingdale’s

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video by Vincent Elejorde

You guys… I’ve resisted videos for so many years now… BUT I wanted to share a quick run through of our townhouse before we move next week!  I probably should have cleaned it a little better but you know what, this is an authentic peek into the townhouse we’ve lived in for the past four years.  You can also check this out at my YouTube channel!

This has been such a great home to us, and I’m happy to have this token as a memory of our time spent in Old Towne Orange!  If you would like to see some more CBL videos, please share in the comments some video topics you might like to see. That would be such a big help to me!

Thanks so much for watching and sharing! Bare with me… it’s my first video, #Godbless. XO –

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striped swimsuit

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My summer wish list is here, and who’s surprised that it involves gold bow heels, a striped swimsuit and bright red midi dress? No one.

I am really into these olive green sneakers, and these are my favorite Hermes Oran dupes.  I have a little diamond x ring like this and love wearing it on my middle finger, and this lariat necklace is the kind that looks great with everything – even a classic tee!

There are some big summer sales around the corner. I need to start thinking of some items I might want to snag for a discount! For a while I wanted to splurge on these sunglasses, but I found these dupes for next to nothing so they’re keeping me company for now.

Have you snagged any summer scores lately? Gimme the dish, girl! Thanks so much for reading – XO –

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Last month I worked on a quick and easy “everyday makeup” video for Southern Living (hoot hoot! My first job out of college!). You can also see it here!

Please don’t be as alarmed as I am of the thumbnail for this video… just play it. I promise it gets better!  For those of you who ask about my everyday makeup or go-to products, this is a quick guide to my tried and true. Also, it’s using only 10 products! I’m linking all the products I used below.

Let me know what you think – and more videos coming! Thanks so much for watching – XO –

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how I organize my jewelry

Recently I shared some videos on insta-story while I was cleaning this tray of baubles, and I got so many messages and emails from you guys with questions about organizing jewelry.  SO, I wanted to share my little system up close and personal on the blog!

I bought this tray many years ago (from Target, I believe?), and I have small jewelry dishes I’ve been given or collected over time in it. I use the dishes to hold my stud earrings, rings, hoop earrings, bangles, etc.. The drawers in my nightstands serve as additional jewelry storage. I keep pretty small boxes and have placed them within the drawers to act as dividers between the madness.

And of course I have so many tassel earrings that they’re overflowing from their tray!

I also keep brooches in a glass box, and I have necklaces simply hanging from nails I nailed in the wall in my closet (not pictured… because my closet is like a black cave).

organizing jewelryjulie vos hoop earringsmichele watchhow to organize earringscollection of tassel earringsjulie vos jewelrytiffanys porcelain boxstoring chanel brooches

similar mirrored chest here (on sale), here and here

Below are some trays and jewelry dishes that I think would be great for storage!

I have to admit, as much as I’m dreading packing, I am looking forward of taking advantage of the time to go through and organize everything.

If there are any other organization/decor posts you’d like to see, please let me know in the comments. Thanks so much for reading and sharing – XO –

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white linen suit

You guys might remember seeing these pants recently here.  I love them so much for summer, and I wanted to show you guys the chicness that is the full suited look!  I can’t say no to a suit. Flashback to this velvet number.

I shared these sweet kitten heels not too long ago in this post. When I saw the vibrant punch of red but with a modest heel that I could hopefully wear walking around SF streets, I thought they’d be a great summer heel. I love the bronze heel, and if you’ve never checked out Sarah Flint shoes, they’re really fab! I’ve met the designer herself and she is just a lovely human being. So kind and talented. It makes me love the heels even more!

I also had to mention that this little bag was my grandmother’s. When we were all in Greenwood, Mississippi for her funeral last year, we went through her closet and drawers before everyone went back to their homes, all over the country.  As the biggest purse lover in the crew, I snagged a few of her little bags, including this one.  It reminds me so much of her, and bonus points that it’s the perfect size and color! I found some similar ones on Etsy that I’m linking below!

rolling stones teesarah flint emma slingred sling heelswhite linen suitwhite stretch linen blazerdaydreamer la teerebecca taylor blazerslingback kitten heelscolorful tassel earringsrebecca taylor suitbaublebar abacos earring

photos by Christian Barnes

blazer (TTS) | pants (also styled here), also available here – if you’re in between sizes I would recommend sizing down! | heels – if you’re in between sizes, size up | tee, also love this one and this one | bag – vintage, love this one and this one | sunglasses | lip in Mac Red | earrings | cable bracelet 1, 2, 3, 4

Have you taken a deep dive into linen yet for summer? I know, I know, the wrinkles… but trust, that’s a part of the charm!

I can’t get enough. I think I’m addicted.

Thanks so much for reading! XO –

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shopbop sale

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Shopbop is having a major three-day sale where you can get up to 70% off  by taking an additional 25% off sale items with code SCORE18

I wanted to round up some of my favorite pieces. There are serious markdowns in every category from sunglasses to pajamas, swimwear, dresses, heels and more. I mean… talk about Christmas in July.

If you’ve scored any great pieces – I’d love to hear! I have my eye on this romper and these shades… um – real cute. Thanks so much for reading – XO –

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rogers gardens

I love sharing music on insta-stories, and it makes me so happy when you guys want to know what I’m listening to! SO, I’ve created two new playlists that I wanted to share.

Each playlist contains a song or two with an explicit lyric warning – to those who are more conservative or have kids in the car, it’s a warning that these playlists may not be for you.

This first one had been my daily go-to for the past few weeks:

I made this one a while back and shared on social media but not on CBL – so I wanted to share it as well in case there are other 90’s kids out there lookin’ for some TLC.

If you are jivin’ with these, be sure to check out the first two playlists I posted here! Let me know if you want to keep seeing these or if you know of a better platform to share playlists – XO –

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love what you have quote

Staying Content.  This is a topic that has been on my mind a lot since spring.

When Christian first started his residency, we both thought he would be finished in 5 years.  In year three he decided he was interested in an additional one-year fellowship, and I encouraged him to follow his interests. After all, it’s just one more year and I wouldn’t want him to look back and say “what if?”  He interviewed and matched in year 4 (more about that here).

I joke with Christian that I was the super supportive wife during years 1-3, then I started to get less patient in year 4 but still encouraging… to now, year 5, when I’ve mostly been like, “is this school thing over yet!?”

We had a long talk on the beach one Sunday after a sermon about being content (hello – God’s perfect timing per usual). I told Christian that if he had asked me about interviewing for a fellowship in year 4 rather than 3… I probably would have discouraged it. Christian has been training to become a doctor for all eleven years of our relationship. All five years of our marriage. I am tired… and Lord knows he’s tired. I want him to have the freedom to take a vacation longer than a week. To be able to go home for Christmas, maybe even Thanksgiving (I literally can’t even imagine us going home for a holiday at this point). To have more flexibility to travel with me and make plans more than eight weeks in advance. To have some voice in his schedule and our future.

Another year of school means another year of putting off the big decisions we’re longing for like determining where we want to plant roots, buy our first home, start a family, get to know our neighbors. Another year of sacrificing a lot of the things I’ve been looking forward to… before inevitably moving and starting all over again.

I realized that I really was discontent with my own life.  I wanted what everyone else around me seems to have – stability, security, roots, a foundation, a support system, a family.

I told Christian at the beach that day that I knew I needed to reshift my focus on all of the positive things ahead of us on this journey, because I could only seem to harp on the negatives.  Regardless of how I feel now, I did encourage him to dream big and he did… it brought us to California in the first place. Then he asked me what I thought about a fellowship and I encouraged it. I always tell him to dream big, and he does… so I can’t start dragging my feet now. I have to think big picture and follow through.  He needs my support to get through his career challenges, just as I rely on him to get through mine.

In church that day, our minister said something so powerful that I started taking notes (and I’m not a church note-taker unless I’m really moved).

Discontentment robs the heart of joy.  It leaves us jealous of the people we love, and it tells God what He is providing is not enough.  It’s an issue of the heart.  What’s the secret of being content?  A habit of the heart.

 

Depending on God is the secret to being content.  To think that I’m telling God that what He has blessed me with is not enough… it’s really upsetting.  We all have so much to be thankful for.  If you step outside of your thoughts and reflect on what really has you feeling like what you have isn’t enough (and let’s think big picture here)… it becomes a little embarrassing, doesn’t it?

Last Sunday Christian surprised me with a little red box. He thanked me for all the sacrifices I’ve made for his training. He told me how he knows that I don’t get to experience a lot of the perks that his job gives him – the satisfaction of helping and healing people.  In the box was a Cartier Love Bracelet to symbolize my support of his journey of the past 5 years.  Heart melted –

I’ve been making a conscious effort to focus on all the exciting things about this next year. Christian can’t wait to develop his skills as a facial plastic surgeon.  He is so excited to live in an urban city for the first time.  I’m looking forward to the cooler weather, the chance to get rid of some of the junk around our house during the move, and to have a new canvas to decorate.  In 10 years, I know I’ll look back at this year of our marriage, no kids, and think, “now that was some kind of fun.”

I never want to tell God that the adventures He sends me on aren’t enough. They’re actually going to be some of my life’s greatest memories, so I’m ready for the ride.

 

How do you get through feeling discontent? I’d love to hear any more strategies for eliminating all the comparison, “grass is greener” thoughts! Thanks so much for reading and sharing. You can find more personal posts in the “personal” category of this site and marriage chat in the “marriage” category. XO –

PS – A sweet CBL girl sent me this and I was so moved:

“For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin – real life.  But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time to still be served, a debt to be paid.  Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.

This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness.  Happiness is the way.” – Alfred D. Souza

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